please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
