I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize