Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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