I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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