either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
