From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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