Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
