Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Nicole vs. Life
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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