I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
