Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101