I think scott just propositioned me for sex
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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