doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Hippo gnu deer
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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