LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
