then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
