Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
