the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
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