I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
