I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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