We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
