lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
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I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
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We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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