any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
