Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
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the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize