I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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