I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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