we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
