butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
