I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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