We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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