my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
