Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
