I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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