I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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