There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
