I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
