How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
