i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
