your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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