I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize