We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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