im having a threesome with these popsicles
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Vodka?
Forever.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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