Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
