you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Bring me that man meat
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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