There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
