Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
