the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize