Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
