Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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