Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
