4 words: hood of his car
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
