chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
