Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize