my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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