The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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