Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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