i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
