I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
